Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize