Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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