Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes. http://tfl.nu/1voe
  Replies (7) Good night (713) Bad night (2045)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz
  Replies (24) Good night (7269) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them. http://tfl.nu/apo9
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (3910)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis. http://tfl.nu/2bxd
  Replies (35) Good night (1257) Bad night (8224)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3489) Bad night (2507)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand. http://tfl.nu/fdqs
  Replies (22) Good night (8741) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l
  Replies (14) Good night (2914) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean. http://tfl.nu/p8ix
  Replies (6) Good night (2429) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/2s7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1591) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you (1-240): Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/ytzu
  Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Why is my hat full of peanuts?

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Don't throw them out, I'm on my way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Why is my hat full of peanuts? (719): Don't throw them out, I'm on my way http://tfl.nu/6fix
  Replies (0) Good night (788) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kffk
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me" http://tfl.nu/ic9y
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since. http://tfl.nu/pkb8
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need http://tfl.nu/txcf
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (247)

Randomize