i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...