Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize