Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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