he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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