Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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