what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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