Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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