He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
