i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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