Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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