Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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