even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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