At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
