Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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