Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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