"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
