no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
