Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
