just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
