I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize