Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
