idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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