Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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