Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
