she woke up with a sticky ear
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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