I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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