the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
