I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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