Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
