dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
