I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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