This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I bet he comes in French.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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