I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
