apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
