RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
