I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
