I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
