I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
