I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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