How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
