you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
