I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
