Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
