I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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