I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize