my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This is the high leading the old right now
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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