The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize