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I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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