My brain says no but my pants say off.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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