If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize