she was so not down for the gang bang
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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