If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
