So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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