Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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