you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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