I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
