I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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