I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
