We won't sleep together?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
